Thursday, May 29, 2008

Old Hat

I've never been good at trust,
Didn't know they came like that.
It's not that I don't want your love,
But I don't deserve your love.

After a spell of disillusionment and disappointment the realm of academia a few nights ago I found myself realizing my favorite sad love song still rings true even though I'm engaged to and engaged by the most wonderful woman to ever walk the earth. Our problems are silly, and when weighed next to those of the rest of the world down right pointless.

Who cares who refills the toilet paper when neither of you can honestly say they deserve the other? I get to marry my best friend, whom I trust fully. Like Milo says, "I've never been good at trust," but this is a girl who makes me realize my cynical anger at the world is totally unjustified in regards to her.

Most important of all is learning to enjoy the sad songs that shaped my childhood now that I have very little in my life to be truly angry about. There is an old Harvey Danger song that has haunted my journals for a few years now and it features a line I find myself repeating over and over again everyday as I try and find something to write about.
"I'm so happy. How do you write about that?"
I hope I can learn.

Music: lykke li - little bit ep.